The further adventures of George Soros, part 617

It is a common enough occurrence, so far as occurrences go. No doubt it has happened to you as well. It’s bad judgment by which we arrive here, always. So having determined, amidst the throes of bad judgment, to compose and, what’s more, to post a comment on an internet news article, it was then I heard a pop and smelled the smell of burnt matches, whatever you call it, and I saw, right there in my bedroom, an old man with a wheelbarrow filled with cash.

“Hey, aren’t you George Soros?” I said as the fellow set about handing me a pile of bills. His pointy tail swatted the horseflies away.  

This manifestation, if that be what it was, appeared premature to me, for honestly, at that moment I had hardly typed “Actually, I’m an attorney, and you’re wrong” and was at what might charitably be deemed an impasse as to where I might go from there.

Astro hid beneath the bed, distantly hissing.

“You know,” he said and he shook his wattled jowls, “You could double your money if you wrote that on a poster board and went downtown with it.” Then he cocked his head like a dog upon hearing some distant whistle and he disappeared. When he remanifested, moments later, the load in his wheelbarrow was noticeably lighter.

“Sorry about that,” George Soros said to me. “Senator Booker was about to open his mouth.”

“No,” I said, and I was insistent. You should have seen me being insistent. I was a perfect picture, if a picture might be perfect, of insistence. I said, “I don’t need to be paid. I’m not doing this for money. This is something I care about.” I am less than sure these last words could be heard, what with all of George Soros’ laughter.

“Of course it is, of course it is,” said George Soros and he handed over more cash.

“Some of us are sincere,” I said. “Some of us are idealistic.”

“Oh sure,” said George Soros, so mockingly serious now. “There are in fact three left-leaning people in this country: Jimmy Carter, Robert DeNiro, and an internet troll out of Toledo. All the rest are on my payroll.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go flood central Texas to make the people there see the advantages of dependence on Big Government.”

Then he was gone.

I fumed and I stewed. I stewed and I fumed. He couldn’t be right. He had to be wrong.

Now it’s been five days and Astro – so proud in his new, diamond-encrusted cat collar – is joining me as I move all of my assorted belongings to our beautiful new River Oaks estate.

I’ll leave it at that. I’ll leave you with this thought: Have you considered all the many wondrous advantages of a borderless One World Government?