I am not a burrito


This is going to be difficult to write. It is going to be difficult to write because of what is going on in my life as of late. It is going to be difficult to write because I only possess four blank sheets of paper. It is going to be difficult to write because all four sheets are of the exact same color and the exact same pattern as the clip board itself, which gets confusing for me, now.

Plus I am going to need Jeff to do most of the heavy lifting.

Eight hours. I give it eight hours. This isn’t 2018 anymore.


Comments

  1. From what Jeff told me via Suzannah I'm pleasantly surprised that you could even post this. We are both on your side, you know.

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    1. This is all me today. I appreciate that you reached out, Bill. Not sure what tomorrow looks like. It's been a wild ride.

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  2. I have no idea what's going on but the post label "cancer" fills me with trepidation.

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    1. This post really said as much as I could say when I posted it. i didn't know much of what was going on. The next couple will fill in the gaps, I hope. T he trick is going to be to keep the posts light-ish.

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  3. What the heck is going on Harry? Now I'm going to sit up all night worrying about you. Please be all right. I am sending hopeful and healing thoughts your way even though it don't have a clue what is happening. Be well. Come back soon.

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    1. It's been more than a month since things took a Hard Left around here, so tonight is probably not the night to worry. I can type again, sort of!

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  4. Yay! Harry posted again! May you be feeling much better very soon.

    -Doug in Oakland

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    1. I am typing! Granted, it is mostly one-handed, but it was mostly one-handed before.

      This is going to make one hell of a story.

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    2. I have two full notebooks with the story of my hospitalization and rehabilitation in them, written as it happened, to prop up my shaky sanity and alleviate the boredom.
      I was in from late April (tomorrow makes eleven years) to mid July.
      My sister bought me an ipod and loaded it with eight albums and that probably did as much to keep me sane as the writing did, especially the New Pornographers' album "Challengers". which had just come out at the time.
      I have to say that 1) I was lucky, and 2) everything the doctors told me was right.
      Eleven years later the things that they told me would be happening are indeed happening right now.
      I've gone back and read those notebooks a couple of times, and I feel like I could make a readable story out of them if I really tried, although it would suffer from the same overwriting of the details that my blog comments do.
      Again, may you be feeling much better very soon.
      That's sort of my version of an Irish blessing, and sometimes it works, and other times not so much...

      -Doug in Oakland

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    3. I would love to have been able to document everything. Two things, at least, prevented it. First, I was unconscious for the first few days. As a result of that, I ended up up with double vision and couldn't see well enough to read or write until everybody caught up.

      I guess I am trying to say I am a little jealous about your being in a position to document everything,

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    4. Yeah, I'm left handed and my stroke was on the right side of my brain, so learning to write again was a major aspect of my recovery, and sort of makes the early part of the first notebook more interesting, as the toddler-esque scribbling gradually resolves into my semi-legible handwriting over the course of about a week.
      My doctor said that my being a guitar player probably sped up the process of regaining function in my left hand, but I also believe that I was just lucky.
      My speech pathologist saw the first pages and asked if she could copy them.
      I had to sign a medical release for her to do so, and I did. I don't know what she wanted them for, but I was happy to help in any way I could while they went about the business of putting me back together.
      Not being able to read while in the hospital would suck, so I hope you're well past that now.

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    5. I tried to start writing more than a week ago. I had/have double vision and didn't know it, so that got interesting. Now I have a patch over one eye and the knowledge I have cancer in the eye muscle.

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  5. As one who entered treatment for cancer in May of last year, I recommend doing everything they say where the burrito truck takes you . If surgery is involved, stay as long as they recommend and don't beg to go home like I did. I exsanguinated into the bathtub and had to ride the burrito truck back to the hospital. More attention than I wanted to attract. Follow doctor's orders and we'll discuss this again in ten years.

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    1. This is cancer. Actually, cancer, dialysis, more cancer, and lots of other stuff I haven't quite worked through yet. I was not conscious for about 5 days of it.

      I'll be the burrito they request me to be.

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  6. As someone who's did several rides in a burrito truck last year, I understand the fear. Take care of yourself and listen to the doctors.

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    1. Thank you. This, as it turns out, had nothing to do with working out too hard or having a drink. I'd be a lousy diagnostician, so I'll listen to the doctors.

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  7. I join the chorus line at wishing you well.

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    1. Thank you! I'll be explaining more soon, I hope.

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  8. I wondered where you had gone, and assumed it wasn't good. I'm glad you were able to get to the computer and write something.

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    1. Hey there. It's getting better. I'm going to keep moving forward.

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  9. SO glad to hear you're getting better. Sending POSITIVE WAVES ......
    beej in CO

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    1. Thank you! I like drifting into dark writing, so this is going to offer lots of opportunities along those lines.

      It's going to get better. As I sit here on chemo, I am confident of that.

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  10. I don't know what happened however I just want to say hello!

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    1. Every hello is appreciated these days! Thank you for stopping by!

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  11. I've seen periodic updates on your Twitter and it all seems very serious and terrifying. Hopefully you're getting proper treatment for whatever it is and that you'll make a full recovery...or get a cool hook to replace the hand you lost in your victorious arm wrestling championship? I'm not sure what's happening. All the best.

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    1. Thank you. I'm hoping I gain more capacity to explain things as I gain more capacity. For now, I'm doing the best I can, and there's a lot I don"t understand myself.

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  12. Harry, sorry I'm late coming around. I saw your latest post and went backwards to this one first. Harry, you're in my thoughts! I'm sending you big healing hugs and much love! We have a great blogging community and I know the people that I have met through blogging, have kept me going! We are here for you! I don't know what exactly is happening, but keep going!!!

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    1. Thank you so much. I think I will probably end up explaining a lot more when I can. Although really, I don't want the blog to just be about my being sick. Not much choice at the moment. I will do more as I am able.

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  13. Like Stacy, I'm late to this. I read the last one and started looking back. We will be here when you are ready to share more. I hope you can still blog about... whatever. I understand.

    Having said that, dear Harry, kick the bastard in the teeth.

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  14. well, so much for trying to get attention Harry...what in the world? I know I have been MIA for a while but who knew you were so sick and going through so much...so sorry my blog friend...hope October is finding you in better health and spirits? ... much love.

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