Day 15 and still without a drink


She called me to her office and she said, “You’ve got to start thinking of yourself as management now. As a supervisor. Putting yourself into that head space, Harry. Acting like it.”

I found it sounded awful as she was saying it and sounded awful later in the day, too, when she wasn’t saying it but I was thinking back on it, and even now, even later, at home, just typing it. Like maybe somewhere, without my realizing it, there exists some great unwritten list of things I’ve wanted to avoid always, just floating in space, in the abstract, the list I mean, and “thinking of myself as management” is way up there on it. Maybe second on it. Maybe third.

But I took her advice anyhow and I practiced when I got home by ordering Astro off the kitchen counter in my most amazing and stentorian and authoritative voice. Based on his reaction or his lack thereof, it might be that I am just not supervisor material.

Comments

  1. Wait until you have to do Management training—then the fun really begins...

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    1. I look forward to that.

      I ran a law office for 5 years and never had to act like that whole corporate hierarchical thing. It's like a virus that infects everything.

      Delete
  2. "Some are born to greatness and others....". You express yourself very well. Be yourself while taking the company's interests into account at the same time. And ...

    Confidence! That's what makes a Star.
    Confidence makes a man go far.
    Hear them cheer! Just listen and hear them cheer,
    The roar of the crowd let's you know.
    Be proud that you glow with
    Confidence! You can scale the heights.
    Confidence, Gives the will to fight!
    Now's your chance,
    Grab the lead and you'll succeed!
    Where there's a will,
    There's a way!
    Confidence will pay!
    Sung to the tune of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woDpspK6RlE
    TMI?

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    1. Ha! I should probably save this for a post, but every time people start hierarchy and success, I start running through lines from "American Psycho" in my mind.

      I hope it's just in my mind. I hope I'm not saying it out loud.

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  3. There's no such thing as "managers" or "supervisors" insofar as cats are concerned. Unless it's THEIR position over YOU.

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    1. Astro and I are both anarchists, I believe. I mean, I know he is. Not sure about me.

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  4. Cats have an astral plain we cannot understand.

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    1. Yeah, I'm thinking it might be easier with a dog.

      I prefer cats, though, so I guess Astro can just stay on the kitchen counter.

      Delete
  5. I hear you. If you were to ask, I would answer without hesitation that I was labor, not management. "Supervisor" and "warehouse manager" have been job titles of mine, but they mostly described larger responsibility for me, not over others, and a handy pretext for my employers to "offer" me a lot more hours.
    Leading by example sounds good, but doesn't really make an effective personnel management strategy. Read that: if there are other employees, they should do some of the work, even if I could do it better.
    Fifteen days.
    Hang in there, you'll be all right.

    P.S.: I bet Astro would outperform some of the trainees I was assigned.

    -Doug in Oakland

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    1. Sixteen nights now. Nights are the trick. I used alcohol to get to sleep, and it's a big deal if I am managing some sleep without it. Some, at least.

      We'll see what happens when I get stressed.

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  6. I could never be part of management, you lose part of your own soul with the horseshit they make you say.

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    1. I bet I just have to think outside of the box.

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  7. You'll find your own style of management, Harry. Don't bow to the stress or pressure that others put on you.

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    1. Hi, jono! I think I'm going to be alright. I'm not exactly a corporate kind of guy. They have to know what they're getting with me...

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  8. Alcohol is a harsh mistress. Best to sever her chains one night at a time for more restful sleep.

    Put your head in the heads of those over whom you manage. See their viewpoints, and lead by example which fosters team spirit. Thanks for following my blog. Roland

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    1. Thanks for coming by, Roland. I've had a fitbit on my wrist the past few weeks, and it doesn't look like my sleep is much better without the alcohol. Yet. Although I suppose after 20 year, the rewiring takes a while.

      But even if my sleep doesn't get any better, my liver deserves a break. 20 years... that has to take a toll.

      Delete
  9. I've tried to manage our cats for years and more often than not I fail.
    People, on the other hand, are a piece of cake!

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    1. I really wish I could somehow get paid a quarter for every time I have to tell Astro, "You know you're not allowed in there!" So far, I haven't figured out a way to work that out monetarily, but someday...

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  10. Being "management" sounds like the ultimate punishment to me.

    Cats just don't give a damn, they do what they want, when they want.

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    1. It sort of reminds me of when I worked retail back when I was in high school and college. After I'd been there a few years, they told me I had no choice but to start working the cash registers.

      This is sort of the same situation.

      I thought being here for so long meant everyone had forgotten I was there, but nope, I fail upwards.

      Delete
  11. Maybe, you haven't grown into your supervisor's role as yet. Give it time, Harry.

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    1. Hi, Renard! I'll see what happens. It doesn't sound like something I am likely to take to. I can absolutely get things done, but it's going to be in my own rough and oddball sort of way, most likely.

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  12. Thinking of yourself as management does read like a bad thing. Clone-ish. If it were something like thinking of yourself as The Empress Dowager maybe I could get on board with that. But anyway - I am happy for your liver!

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    1. If trying to think like management does as little for my management skills as trying to think like various writers has done for my writing skills, then my mind is safe.

      Delete
  13. Who made you management?

    This reminds me a bit of my "misspent youth" when I was hanging out with old hippies struggling with their age. They spent their "misspent youth" shouting things like, "never trust anyone over 30." It was a bit of a shock to them when they hit 40. They hadn't changed all that much. So the over 30 thing kept lurking in the backs of their minds when for people my age it wasn't that big a deal. It made them flinch a lot.

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    1. The thing is, I ran my own (5 person) nonprofit law firm for years - and I came to where I'm working now so that I avoid ever being in charge of anything ever again. But I've been here too long.

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    2. Tsk! That's what you get for proving you're competent.

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    3. There's an old line about how people rise to their level of incompetence and then stay there. I might have found my level of incompetence.

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  14. Harry, you'll kick butt! I have faith in you!
    Congrats on 15 days!!! Doing my happy dance!!!

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    1. Thanks, Stacy. It's gotten to a ridiculously long time now. Three weeks. I'm like one of those sober people.

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