The incoming hordes


They enter my country via a routinized system of smuggling – inside of people – and once freed from their host bodies, are entirely unconversant in our language and in possession of no marketable job skills.

Furthermore, if that’s not enough, and it is enough so what I mean to say is what’s more, after being welcomed here literally with open arms, they waste no time in getting around to killing us. With guns. Yes, they mow us down – do they ever! – without a second thought, or without any thought at all, really, in numbers surpassing even those of extremists in religion.

You know this is true. The gory corpses pile high yet the shooters go unpunished, mostly.

And if it should so happen that I should sound angry here, perhaps a bit hateful even, well then, I am angry. Like that quote I remember by a coiner I forget, when faced with injustice, anger is a natural and appropriate human response, and I am responding.

I am responding to the killer babies¹.

You’re not responding to the killer babies. The government’s not responding to the killer babies². But we will. God willing, we will.

I ask you now – sit back and consider my words soberly – why we are allowing these killers to come into our great land at all? Into our homes? Until that day when we can figure out what’s going on and before they graduate to tiny suicide vests, we say “No more,” you and I. We leave them out.

Closing our borders is but a simple thing. Baby gates along the beaches. The greater problem, it must be admitted, is the homegrown variety, of which there are many and more every day.

But in hospital beds, birthing centers, in the back seats of taxi cabs, we can wall off their precise points of entry. Seal out the little buggers. Before they can kill.

O, but their human host bodies will scream!

“Unfair!”

“They’re not all bad!”

“I knew a toddler back in college and he never killed anyone!”

I know. I know. I have little doubt that some of them are good people.

Now we come to the part where I tell you what I’m doing about it. Personally. What I’m already doing about it, and not just me, but a veritable army of lonely, middle-aged men, patriots all, serving our country selflessly. Saving you from stray bullets in the local Walmart.

And if we don’t do it every night, no not every night, then at least we hold to our posts with enough regularity to make a difference. So many nights, with beer in hand and basking in the glow of our laptop monitors, I and hundreds of thousands like me keep diligent watch over the places where the killers’ traffickers bring them through.

We are educated men, do not doubt it, and we know just how it is the killers come to be here. And long into the night – long after that hour at which you’ve retired to bed – we gaze, our mouths agape, in accordance with our plan, at internet websites zeroed in on potential smuggling tunnels.

We do this all for you. You won’t. The government won’t³.

So you’re welcome.
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“Nowadays, even the babies got guns
Diaper snipers having clock tower fun
Misplace the bottle, might catch a bad one
Have a mid-life crisis when you’re ten years young.”
-       Aesop Rock, Babies with Guns
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¹“Armed toddlers kill twice as many Americans each year as terrorists,” Euronews, 17 January 2017.
²“Toddlers have shot at least 50 people this year,” Washington Post, 20 October, 2016.
³Well, except in Texas. The government takes a keen interest in what’s going on with human host entry and exit points in Texas. 

Comments

  1. It's inevitable, from the moment those slimy critters escape their hosts, they will take at least one person down. The best we can do is hope that's themselves.

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    1. Until the day I finally get shot down by a toddler, I will always treasure the day I got to refer to vaginas as "smuggling tunnels."

      Delete
  2. Jack Roulett on the subject of children:
    "Kids are just little people, and people are no damn good. You'll never outsmart them because they have younger, fresher, minds than you, so you might as well overpower them while you still can"

    We don't have much of a child soldier problem here in the US, but a lot of other countries do.

    And it seems to me that half of our government is pretty much obsessed with controlling those smuggling tunnels...

    -Doug in Oakland

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    1. I think I could take on a few babies at once. I'm guessing very few are expert marksmen.

      Every time some 3-year old pulls his mom's gun out of her purse and shoots her in Walmart, we're told that these are lone wolves acting alone. But are they?

      They don't have browser histories we can check.

      Delete
  3. "This isn't a baby gate. This is my octagon. My steel cage. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me."
    -the last words you hear before the baby strikes

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    1. Hell yes. We're just so politically correct in this country that we no longer have the balls to put these little criminals in their place. So they gain confidence and start quoting Rorschach.

      Delete
  4. Sex should be illegal! It's immoral! Married couples shouldn't even do it except for the expressed purpose of reproduction. Seal off ALL of the smuggling tunnels! Build a wall over them! Haha

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    1. Better safe than sorry. If you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about!

      Delete
  5. Speaking of smuggling tunnels, I have always wondered how the term "Snatch" became a negative slang word that referred to the vagina. After reading your post, I would guess that it refers to actions of the doctor or midwife who help deliver these alien rug rats. Note the term deliver. A term used by ISIS as well as drug dealers, and hit men. There are additional grounds for holding doctors and midwifes responsible for this type of code word. Ever notice that within a few minutes after delivery (the word itself is evil incarnate) the midwife or nurse takes the baby away from Momma and Daddy so Momma can get some rest and Daddy can go back home or back to work? My suspicion is the baby is replaced by an almost clone. Everything exactly the same except the replacement is a sociopath, lacks an vestige of a conscientious.

    Why all the BS about the Russians and the elections? Why would mainstream media be trashing Trump for being an idiot, even if it's true? It's part of an over 70 year coverup of what the real problems we face. The truth of the matter is that problems with North Korea, Obama Care, Trump's lies, the fact that Twitter pays Trump per Tweet, plus a sliding scale bonus depending on how stupid they are judged by the mainstream media.

    Our real problem are the terrorist parasites, AKA babies, that are smuggled in via "smuggler tunnels" That is bad enough Worst yet, it is obvious that these babies are the tip of the iceberg.. You'll note that they are not yet as evolved as their descendants. I use the present tense because the more evolved descendants already exist. The truth was exposed years ago in the.Documentary film "Aliens". These more evolved parasites aren't delivered, they bust out of the host mother fully functional. To learn the truth we need to decode the other terms or words that are often used instead of vagina. It will take a team effort because all babies aren't terrorist's. Most people,, even those opposed to abortion,would allow abortion in cases of incest or if carrying the baby full term would endanger the mother's life

    Snatch is easily figured out if you haven't bought into the Government's coverup. There are other code words substituted for vagina, that I haven figured out yet. Maybe you or you disciples can help both of us figure them out. Words (please excuse my bluntness. This is serious business). Code words like pontang, box, twat, muff, hair pie, penis fly trap, and countless others need to be decoded if we want to stop this misuse of these precious vagnas

    There is still hope. The word pussy, although negative at times, has still retained it's original extremely positive meaning. It describes the ultimate good thing, event, outcome, behavior, and in at least one person, no it isn't Pussy Galore, from James Bond's Dr. No, although she's pretty good herself. We're talking Jesus Christ.

    If someone asks you what the hardest thing in the world is, the correct answer is Japanese arithmetic. The hottest thing in the world, a two dollar pistol. The most positive act, outcome, emotion, thing, meaning the best, most good or glorious, including anything you could imagine (mental, physical or emotion) the best of the best, I could go on and on but you get the gist of what I write.
    When you encounter these glorious, indescribably good thing, emotion, you name it, and want to share it with the world, there is only one phrase that accurately and absolutely indicates the goodness, greatness, the ultimate compliment or description. What is the answer to a question asking you to describe the rapture you feel? It's pussy good. It describes what heaven means. At least here in the States. the closest thing to Pussy Good is likely panties. That's is proof positive that Pussy Good is the ultimate compliment. In my opinion the ultimate would be even better if you ditched the panties.

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    1. Wow! This is worthy of Alex Jones and Infowars. Really peeling away the wool from the eyes of America.

      Whatever the truth is, I'm sure the master conspiracy involves babies. There has to be a reason all my friends disappear once they have them.

      Delete
  6. The purple, sluglike alien parasites grow inside human females, until their hosts are compelled to painfully and sometimes fatally push them out, and then begin their criminal careers! Babies never!

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    1. That's how Hitler got started.

      And Putin.

      Delete
  7. Once expelled they dominate your life forever until you find yourself begging for the bullet.

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    1. I've managed to avoid them, for the most part. I've known a couple and tend to get their names mixed up (much to the chagrin of my cousin and nephew). I'm not good with guessing ages, either.

      But fortunately, I've never been faced with an armed toddler. Yet.

      Delete
  8. Baby with a gun... baby with a gun... BABY WITH A GUN... BABY WITH A GUN!

    https://youtu.be/MeILF3v5KD4


    BTW - Brilliant concept

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    1. Thanks, GOODSTUFF! I'll assume that clip is an actual news clip or documentary. It's the sort of thing that I see more and more every day.

      Delete
    2. it's a weird satire thing...

      This last week, I have been spending about 30% of my "streaming" time with North Korea stuff.

      Looking at the past, This could turn out to be a big thing

      If I lived in Guam, I would be drinking extra beer

      Delete
    3. I was talking to my mom the other day about the Cuban Missile Crisis. She said no one really talked about it where she was at the time. No one got sent home from school early crying, thinking the world was coming to an end.

      I asked, "Where the hell were you living?"

      She said, "In 1962? Guam."

      Ironic.

      Delete
  9. ha ha wonderful stuff.I got confused when I saw the post in fb.Great sarcasm and humour.oooh I found the meaning of smuggling tunnels through commentsha ha.Keep it up.Excellent read craze.

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    1. Thanks, Arun. As always, I'm reacting against my latest post once I've posted it.

      In the same way I reacted against the dark ones last month by writing some lighter stuff, I can see I'm going to go a different direction for a while after this one.

      This one wasn't hard enough for me to write and I didn't put any of myself in it. So you can expect a more personal one next week, I suppose...

      Delete
  10. I wish I had something clever to say, but I haven't, so I'll just shut up, but at least you know I read your post.

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    1. Haha. Thanks for taking the time, LL Cool Joe.

      I try to vary things up, wherever my short attention span takes me. The next one will be different.

      Delete
    2. ²“Toddlers have shot at least 50 people this year,”

      According to the NRA, toddlers have every right to bear arms here in America! You take guns away from them the next thing you know the Government will be coming for the ones rednecks own. It's a slippery slope.

      Delete
    3. Here in Texas, we have a law going into effect next month that allows for open carry of swords, spears, and machetes.

      I don't know where people are going to find room on their bodies to hang a sword, what with all of the rifles and handguns and such in the way, but... the only thing that can stop a bad baby with a machete is a good baby with a machete.

      Delete
  11. Careful. You're about to set me off on body rights. It's worse than the toddlers. I could talk you to death. Murder and torture all in one.

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    1. Haha. I fully support your determining what to do with your body. But if your liver was going to throw a hand grenade at me, I'd probably want you to stay somewhere else with it.

      And your liver, being able to filter blood, is at least useful. Unlike babies.

      Delete
    2. Do babies have the right to bear arms? I'd like to see a Supreme Court ruling on that. In the meantime, lock 'em up in cribs.

      Delete
    3. I don't have a lot of fans of babies who stop by my page, apparently. Or at least they're not fans anymore. It's good to see that my message might be having an impact!

      Delete
  12. Canadian babies have never shot anyone. They just apologize profusely for being a bother. (It's mydangblog here--don't know why the thingy insists on my weird website name that I can't change).

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    1. Yeah, I just noticed that your recent blog post somehow didn't show up in my feed.

      Anyway, I hope that Canada doesn't live to regret being soft on babies. Babies often lie there looking adorable until they act, and by then it's too late.

      Delete
  13. I wasn't sure where this one was going but then maybe you didn't either. Thanks for including the links at the end. I'm not anti-gun but I don't own one. I've enjoyed shooting them at non-human targets. Hunting certain animals is fine IMHO. One major problem is gun safety. Too many idiots with guns. Now smart people with guns could be dangerous too but young victims of stupid accidents is just not right. Also, there is the problem with guns and suicide.
    Sorry, maybe you didn't mean to be serious about the subject.

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    1. I was trying to be careful not to turn this post into an anti-gun screed. I don't own a gun (someone with my history of dark moods and alcohol intake just shouldn't have one around), but pretty much everyone else in my family owns guns. And I'm in Texas.

      This post is what it is, which, in the end, is probably an attempt to make looking at porn into a patriotic act.

      Delete
  14. I read this like 3 times Harry! Very interesting! I've never shot a gun and to tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever seen a gun in real life? Well, maybe on a police man. Just can't imagine everything you said! Thanks for the links at the end!

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    1. Almost all of my political posts are jokes. Almost, at least. Which is why I write so few of them.

      Delete
  15. this was a weird and creepy twist on things as reflected in the world we see today. Things are getting so out of hand with little rational consideration from most sides on any issue. But what's weird now might one day become an actual concern which would not be any less weird if it were the norm. Now I think weird IS the norm.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Thanks. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I might be writing ANOTHER weird twist on contemporary politics tonight. I don't really want to, but I don't have much control over where my head wants to go. It's certainly where my head is right now. And writing stuff like this is better than just posting news articles and then screaming, "I can't believe these people!!!"

      We'll see whether or not I manage to post anything.

      Delete
  16. Their intentions are clear at first sight. They come into our world covered in blood, screaming and crapping on everything. What can anyone expect?

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    1. I am encouraged by how many people who stop by here see the problem with babies. We can defeat them together.

      Delete

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